It's always been difficult for me to enjoy the ride, because I've always been focused on a utopian destination. I've pushed through a lot of things relying on my own strength because I was determined to get to perfection.
When you're focused on the destination, life becomes a race, there's no room to stop and smell the roses. I needed to push through life, to get to the end, to get to perfection, to get to heaven. I saw nothing of value in this life.
I was so fixed on perfection, masked as Christ-likeness, that this life only brought me disappointment. I was expecting life to be perfect, forgetting that we live in a fallen world.
I have had to learn to live with life. I have had to learn to live with people, and their choices, I have had to learn to live with the consequences of people's choices. Yes, it is a fallen world, and things are messy, but it is also a beautiful world, a world created by the Beautiful One.
I often remember a quote from one of my favourite movies, American Beauty (1999).
- Ricky Fitts.
There is so much beauty in this world, we only need to be looking for it.I have come to realise that grace is for today. Grace is for now. In the moments that I'm able to 'just be', in the moments that I can accept my present circumstances as reality, those are the moments where I see beauty so intricately intertwined in the chaos. My life is simpler because I've chosen to accept it for what it is, with all its mess, with all its beauty. As I navigate my way through the life that I have been given, my heart has settled. I know that God has given me everything I need for everything that He has for me.
When God was preparing to take the Israelites over into the Promised Land, He made a promise to Joshua when he took over the leadership of the Israelites after Moses' death. He said, 'I will give you every place where you set your foot, as I promised Moses.' (Joshua 1:3 NIV)
I hear these words echo over my own journey. My journey is a holy journey, dedicated to Him, set apart for Him. I am no longer concerned about how dirty my feet have become, because I know that I'm walking in the dust of the Master.